Saturday, November 20, 2010

Im thankful for MY BABY BOY!!!!!!!

this year I want to say that I am sooo thankful for my baby boy that came into our lives!!! when we got the phone call for a child,I could barely believe it,and to tell you the truth,I still cant believe it! the phone call was for a baby boy named James,and they were deciding between five families,and they picked us. I really think it was just so obvious for them to decide to pick us! but there was one twist,lol! there was an aunt that could supposively take James....she has never been mentioned again,and now it is too late for her to do so. (sigh of relief!) lol! =)  when I heard about the Aunt,i figured that it wouldnt work out...they said that the adoption was high legal risk,and I figured it wouldnt work out. We have had so many dissapointments in the past that I didnt think this was finally it for us. I mean, TONS of dissapointments and they were so painful emotionally,I just didnt think something good could happen for us. but as time has gone by,and information has been presented by the social worker,I have come to realize that things can happen good for us,and that all the millions of prayers we said were going to be answered...it was just that James wasnt born yet and we had to wait for him to be born!! lol! James really is our son! its like he just took a detour,hung out with his buds in a medical facility for a while until mom and dad could pick him up! =)  He took to us immediately,and he was calling us mama and dada right away! when I look at him and observe his behavior around us,its like theres no doubt in his mind at all who we are to him,we are his mom and dad! his birth parents are not able to care for him. that is why he is able to be adopted. it was suppose to happen. Its so cool! when me and ron were just married,I thought it would be so cool to adopt...but i didnt think I was ever capable of that,of something so wonderful!!! i had a bad childhood until I was taken in by my aunt and uncle,so before that point I was not encouraged to think I was capable of great things. it took me a while to figure out how to find the courage to put in the paperwork for adoption,in fact,years! I told my husband,"you gotta help me with this! I cant do it alone!" so he would handle the things I was too stressed out to do,or call someone I was intimidated by,lol! adventually we got it all done. what should have taken maybe six months took ,I dunno,maybe three years! lolol!(im laughing now,back then...not that funny) but another thing that happened was that i had to listen closer to how heavenly father wanted me to do this.he had a specific way he wanted me to do it all,and a specific agency. the road i was going down was the wrong road to find James,he was on the road marked "county adoption",we took the wrong exit at first. then we had to wait after waiting,um,i dont know TEN YEARS! lolol! so,we waited a looong time,and then had to wait another year on top of that! it was hard,but by that time we were learning how to enjoy life just being the two of us,and I tryed very hard to keep away thoughts of "i want a baby",and started saying to heck with it all! im just going to live my life without kids!!! yaay! we're livin it up with almost nooo responsibilities and we just ROCK people! and so does our life without kids! then,after having a BLAST in San Diego,we get a call for James! and I seriously almost fell over! hahaha! complete panic attack! i called ron,he was so happy,and we were sooo HAPPY!!! but im glad I figured out a way to be happy without kids first! =) I think thats what heavenly father was waiting for,and we did it finally! =) i mean,of course we want kids,but when your not able to at the time,give yourself a break! =) I am glad we have James,i am glad we have kids...or i mean, a kid,lolol! =) the time Ron and I spent together was an awesome honeymoon!! but now,at least for us,its time to do the kid thing! =) I love it! James loves being here and I can tell he enjoys having a mommy and daddy to hold him,love him,and cuddle him. he giggles when we say we love him! i could cry! =) and sure,life can be great without kids,so the people who read this who dont have thier babies yet....live it up! you have a wonderful life and its just as important as everyone elses lives with or without kids! there are times I look back and think ghee! can I steal one of those days back that i had before just fir a day?? NO! that ship has sailed! lol! =) ..... where I can take a nap in the middle of the day(that was niiiice!),go on a few honeymoons,spend as much time with my sweetie and not have to get a babysitter...the benefits go on and on. so,im not dissing life with out kids,and im not dissing life with kids. i am glad we are moving on,and im happy to be a busy mama now! =)  theres a season for everything,some might be in different seasons....we definately went from summer to winter all the sudden! lol! i love my new life and even though there are ups and downs,I wouldnt change it for the world,I appreciate my blessings,and I am thankful for what I have learned in this VERY HARD trial me and my husband have gone through. life is wonderful! =) I give tons if thanks to my heavenly father!!!!! we LOVE our boy soooo much!
may god bless us all! =)

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